The Promise – 4 – Purity

Welcome
Goal – Save future & current marriages… Bless your relationships with Godly wisdom.

 

The Promise Title

Sin ruins marriages.
Adultery, pornography, unforgiveness, secrets, coveting other things.

Not yet married crowd… do not wait until you are married to work on your secret sin issues.

Sin is not a foundation you want to build anything upon.

Genesis 2:24-25 (NIV) 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

SHAME: Bûwsh – to be ashamed; to become pale.

This is bad.
Not the playful “oh you are so bad.”

Shame means PALE as in the blood/life force drains from your countenance.

In Genesis 2 Adam & Eve felt NO SHAME.

But the serpent came… Adam and Eve disobeyed God and the they felt… shame.

Genesis 3:7-10 (NIV) Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

Shame causes us to retreat and hide.

Kids – Did you eat a cookie? Cause a mess?  -> Hide

Adults – Did you cause a mess? -> Hide

Shame happens when we connect a bad action to our identity.

I did bad… I am bad.

We become the thing we did.

We hide because of shame.

What does it look like to hide in a marriage…

• Working late again.
• I am headed to bed early.
• I think I am going to hang out with the boys/girls again tonight.
• I don’t need to talk about it.
• Don’t check my phone.
• Spending habits.
• I have a secret…

Secrecy is the Enemy of Intimacy

Want a deep relationship, get rid of shallow secrets. Bare all before one another…

Get Naked

Promise #4
I promise to CONFIDE, not HIDE.

If secrecy is the enemy of intimacy…

I choose… Honesty, confession, righteousness, honor

I choose light over darkness.

Ephesians 5:8-10 (NIV) 8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

What is the darkness in your life?

Movie theater… Darkness…

Eyes adjust to darkness…

Have your eyes adjusted to darkness?
Or are you a Child of Light?

Do you say that some sins are not a big deal?

Ephesians 5:3 (NIV) 3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity…

Not even a hint… redraw the line.

Hopping in bed…  LOOKS AND THOUGHTS.

Jesus redrew the line of adultery…

Matthew 5:28 (NIV) 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Redraw the lines.
Confide, don’t hide.

No more…

• Lusting after anyone that is not your spouse.
• Fantasy – thoughts and emotions.
• Secret desires.

Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Would you ever wear dirty boots to bed?
Would you go straight from the sweaty gym to bed?

NO! You don’t want to rest in filth.

Clean your bed

Do not allow anger in your bed…

Unforgiveness…

Passive aggressive undertones… silence…

Secrets…

Unaddressed issues…

How do we live a life of purity?

Proverbs 28:13 (NIV) Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Promise #4
I promise to CONFIDE, not HIDE.

Confession to God brings intimacy.
Openness to your spouse brings intimacy.

STOP HIDING!
Turn from sin.
Turn toward God.

Future shame exercise (Close your eyes)

Imagine your secret has been found out…

• Drag God’s name through mud.
• Lose reputation.
• Telling your kids…
• Telling your spouse…
• HURT, PAIN…
• The paleness of shame – blood/life force drains from your countenance.

You can stop this future today.

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Make your move

#1 Confess to God

 -Take sin seriously.

 -Actively tell God yes, and sin no.

#2 Choose intimacy. Bannish secrecy.

 -Conversations.

 -Clean your marriage bed.

#3 Don’t Hide – Here I Am

 -Boldly worship

 -Boldly come and pray