Taking Hatred Head-on – 4 – Restoring What Hatred Broke

 

Welcome to Redemption Church of Plano TX. My name is Chris Fluitt!

 

Hatred Head On

 

Hatred is widespread
High Cost.
Fight Hatred with Peace

 

ME

I have felt the sting of betrayal?

 

I remember a time when people I trusted deeply let me down…

I was 20 years old… working in a church…

 

Intense hurt – cut them off…
Revenge thoughts… Dark

I almost gave up on my ministry calling…

 

WE:
Been there?
Anger and resentment take root, and you think, “They don’t deserve my kindness.”

“They deserve my worst…”

 

-Marriage misunderstanding
-Harsh words from a friend
-Broken trust

Aftermath… isolated and hurt.

 

The world’s game plan…
retaliate, revenge, to cut ties, or to hold grudges.

 

Deep down, we know that this approach doesn’t heal our wounds; it only deepens them.

 

What if there’s a different way to respond?

Restoring what Hatred Broke

There is an alternative to remaining in the wreckage of hatred.

 

GOD:
What would God’s alternative look like?

 

Matthew 5:43-44

Jesus is preaching his most famous sermon – the sermon on the mount.

Matthew 5:43-44

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

 

There are natural instincts…
You hate me… I hate you.
You hit me… I hit you.
You hurt me… I hurt you.

 

Notice what Jesus does here…
Jesus commands & challenges us to rise above our natural instincts.

 

Jesus points at our enemy and says…
Love them
Pray for them

 

Not popular…
Difficult…
Kind of annoying Jesus…

 

Here are the proceeding verses….

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

 

Eye for an eye… Tooth for tooth…
(Exodus 21:24; Lev. 24:20; Deut. 19:21)
This is reference to the laws found in the Old Testament. If someone hurt your eye, you had a legal right to hurt them back.

 

This principle in the Old Testament law was a guideline for proportional justice, ensuring that punishments fit the crime without allowing for excessive retaliation.

 

Jesus offers the alternative of grace over the mechanism of retaliation. (Matthew 5:38-44)

 

Jesus offers an alternative eye for eye, tooth for tooth… Do we reject his alternative?

It’s not about…
ignoring the hurt or remaining in abuse…
but choosing to respond with love instead of hate.

 

The brokenness of hatred is all about retaliation.
Jesus gives an alternative that leads to reconciliation.

 

Reconciliation – The process of restoring broken relationships

 

Jesus gives us a clear path for reconciliation in Matthew 18:15.

Matthew 18:15: If your brother or sister sins *against you*, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

 

Notice:

• “If they SIN AGAINST YOU.”
  • NOT they annoy you… looked at you funny… didn’t invite you to a party.
  • BUT THEY SIN AGAINST YOU! Lie, Steal, Harm, Kill you…
  • A lot of conflict is personality conflict that we should not escalate.
  • If they did not SIN against you… the problem is YOU!
• Go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.
  • Direct communication. Do not text.
  • No gossip.
  • Talk to THEM only! This is grace!
• “If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

The goal of conflict is to regain who was lost; a Brother or Sister.
Reconciliation, Not Retaliation

 

Quick pattern study from your Bible…
(Spouse) Adam & Eve conflict (Gen 3) – Blame & Shame – Difficult to reconcile.

(Sibling) Cain & Able conflict (Gen 4) – Revenge and murder – became impossible to reconcile.

(Friends) King Saul and David conflict (1 Sam 16-31) – Jealousy & rage led to destruction.

 

The goal is to regain WHO was lost – a relationship.

 

Are we focused on something other than reconciliation? It might keep us in the wreckage of hatred.

 

Jesus gives an alternative to Eye for Eye…
Reconciliation is the alternative…
Reconciliation is hard work.

 

The EIGHT “R”s OF RECONCILIATION -Kristina Tenny-Brittian
RECOGNITION
REPENTANCE
RECEIVING
RELEASING
REUNION
RESTITUTION
RESTORATION
RECONCILIATION

**Reconciliation Handouts available**

Reconciliation is hard work.
Here is what makes it so difficult.

 

It takes 3 to Reconcile 1

 

You can’t do it yourself…
You need God, and you need others…

 

Good luck reconciling without God.
Impossible without God’s principles.

It takes 3 to Reconcile 2

If we all come into the unity of God’s love – reconciliation is possible.

Here is where it is most difficult.

 

It takes 3 to Reconcile 3

We may be willing.
God is always willing.
But others may not be willing to reconcile.

 

This hurts.

What can you do?

 

YOU:

3 things to do when you can’t reconcile

#1 Pray for Them: Shift Resentment to Compassion

#2 Serve Them: Shift Retaliation to Blessing
 

#3 Speak Well of Them: Shift Dishonor to Honor

“If I do this, will they reconcile?”
Maybe… maybe not…

 

These steps are not about becoming best friends with those who wronged us; they are about breaking the cycle of hate and fostering healing within ourselves.

 

These steps lead to this…

Transformation
This will transform your…
Heart,
Mind,
Words,
Actions…

 

Whether they realize it or not – you are their true friend…

This is how to defeat hatred.

Jesus is the best example of this.

 

Jesus embraced his enemies like friends
Forgave
Served
Believed the best about his enemies

On the cross he prayed for us… his enemies… Father, forgive them…

I told you my story of betrayal.
Almost gave up on ministry.

 

The leaders in a Church pulled me in a back room and told me everything they did not like about me.

 

They completely missed Jesus’ teaching about going to them alone and directly communicating the problem.

 

I was really hurt. It took me some time to trust a church or pastor again.

About 2 years ago I went to a funeral and there in that room was everyone who hurt me that day.

I had never received an apology… the 8 R’s of reconciliation had not happened.

 

But, because of the grace of God… I was able to embrace them, mourn with them, love them.

 

I have forgiven them.
I am free from hatred.

 

Your challenge
In weeks

• Be reconciled.
• Defeat hatred from past hurts

In days

• Work on reconciliation.
• Hard work… takes time… transformation

Now

• What is stopping you?
  • Is it you?
• Surrender something to Jesus